Tinha tudo para dar certo. A começar pelo belo sol com seu olho vermelho e brilhante. Era só caprichar um pouco no visual e ir à luta. Primeiro teria que traçar algumas estratégias para não falhar, ou pelo menos, não inteiramente. A escolha do lugar parecia perfeita: parque Ibirapuera da cidade de São Paulo.
Lugar descontraído, cheio de gente bonita, esportistas de fim de semana, enfim, perfeito para lançar seu charme e arrebanhar, quem sabe, aquela que iria fazê-lo feliz pelo resto da pouca vida que ainda lhe resta.”Muitas mulheres solitárias como eu caminham nesse parque a procura de algum desejo escondido”. Pensa o bom senhor.
Devidamente paramentado com um conjunto esportista, e boné, que além de proteger a calvice já bem delineada confere um certo charme ao visual. Entra no parque e, dentro do território escolhido, aciona os mecanismos de sedução que acredita podem funcionar: andar cadenciado, corpo ereto e olhar sedutor. Tão imbuído está o pobre que não percebe um bando de garotos de patins vindo em sua direção. Numa fração de segundos, lá está o “sedutor” no chão. Com a frase: “olha por onde anda cara”, ainda tinindo em seus ouvidos, levanta-se com dificuldade e pensa: “sem nenhuma pretensão de corrigir a obra Divina, acho que ELE cochilou quando decidiu não colocar bom senso e juízo nos seres humanos desde seu nascimento”.
Refeito do susto, continua sua caminhada, mas qual! Lá vêm um outro bando de jovens pilotando, com a maestria que a idade lhes confere, suas coloridas bicicletas. Passam voando, deixando uma rajada de vento e burburinho no ar. Inseguro e amedrontado o bom velhinho pensa: “é, parece que escolhi o lugar errado”. Aquele caminhar descontraído sem pressa está definitivamente comprometido. “É interessante pensar que um parque é denominado lugar ‘público’, mas para qual ‘público’”? Pensa o senhor, e ajeitando a roupa e o boné, dirige-se ao portão de saída com sabor amargo na boca, sabor de desrespeito, humilhação e impotência.
quinta-feira, 9 de outubro de 2008
THE ONIX
Wandering along the streets, looking at the ground, with tangled thoughts, she felt completely lost although were people everywhere. How deeply she wanted these thoughts dispelled! But the way she had been looked at on that morning by the students made her feel the most deject human being in the world.
They stared at her for a long time, but said nothing. Nothing that could be heard, but soon the whispering began: “Do you believe she´ll be accepted?” “How can they agree with that?” Their voices were quiet, dry and cold. Something inside her breast got bigger and bigger and she had to swallow it, so as not to burst into tears.
Time passed. It seemed a year since she had entered the classroom at the University. Sitting at her desk she saw nothing around her. The cold indifference of her classmates iced her as rigid as a stick. When the bell rang she felt her heart in her throat. It was her desire to go out and disappear immediately, but her feet were stuck on the ground and any effort made would be useless.
“My childhood days are brought to my mind and with them one of those children´s tale, especially “The Ugly Duckling”. I feel myself akin to it this moment: rejected and set aside by everyone. It´s useless try to fight against fate. University education was not for me. How could I deceive myself this way? All lost! I have to change my course”.
Stepping hard, she set out for a new life. The bright lights of a night club twinkled, inviting her. With determination her hands, which now took the command of her mind, opened the door. Everybody looked at her with lustful eyes.With loathing.
Suddenly a person she had never seen before came towards her, looked at her and smiled softly. Rejoicing, she discovered that there were still affectionate persons around who could consider her a human being. This, however, was more than she could believe.
He encouraged her with his eyes, but she did not respond; her complexion changed and all her embarrassment returned. Finally, he took her out gently. Questions arose from him and after waiting patiently for some time, the answers came one by one, and he realized that she could hardly be more deeply hurt. Not a single word of complaint was heard.
Something tender was born between them as she began to fight against her shyness little by little, overcoming her deep unhappiness. Finally she knew the greatest strength in the world: love. The only way to freedom: sharing.
Nowadays, people stop and stare at them. Lots of them incredulous, some indignant, a few touched by the contrast of their skins tightly interlaced.
They stared at her for a long time, but said nothing. Nothing that could be heard, but soon the whispering began: “Do you believe she´ll be accepted?” “How can they agree with that?” Their voices were quiet, dry and cold. Something inside her breast got bigger and bigger and she had to swallow it, so as not to burst into tears.
Time passed. It seemed a year since she had entered the classroom at the University. Sitting at her desk she saw nothing around her. The cold indifference of her classmates iced her as rigid as a stick. When the bell rang she felt her heart in her throat. It was her desire to go out and disappear immediately, but her feet were stuck on the ground and any effort made would be useless.
“My childhood days are brought to my mind and with them one of those children´s tale, especially “The Ugly Duckling”. I feel myself akin to it this moment: rejected and set aside by everyone. It´s useless try to fight against fate. University education was not for me. How could I deceive myself this way? All lost! I have to change my course”.
Stepping hard, she set out for a new life. The bright lights of a night club twinkled, inviting her. With determination her hands, which now took the command of her mind, opened the door. Everybody looked at her with lustful eyes.With loathing.
Suddenly a person she had never seen before came towards her, looked at her and smiled softly. Rejoicing, she discovered that there were still affectionate persons around who could consider her a human being. This, however, was more than she could believe.
He encouraged her with his eyes, but she did not respond; her complexion changed and all her embarrassment returned. Finally, he took her out gently. Questions arose from him and after waiting patiently for some time, the answers came one by one, and he realized that she could hardly be more deeply hurt. Not a single word of complaint was heard.
Something tender was born between them as she began to fight against her shyness little by little, overcoming her deep unhappiness. Finally she knew the greatest strength in the world: love. The only way to freedom: sharing.
Nowadays, people stop and stare at them. Lots of them incredulous, some indignant, a few touched by the contrast of their skins tightly interlaced.
SITUAÇÃO DE PRESSÃO
“Você quer um suquinho, meu filho? Descanse um pouco, não se deve estudar horas a fio sem oxigenar o cérebro”. “Está tudo bem mamãe”. Responde o garoto irritado com as freqüentes interrupções da mãe.
O pai chega da feira, naquele ensolarado dia, em uma pacata cidade do interior, com uma braçada de frutas e legumes. Deposita-os sobre a mesa da cozinha e sobe os degraus-dois a dois- para o quarto de estudos do filho, para saber se ele quer alguma coisa. “Obrigado, papai”, responde o garoto imerso em seus livros. Mesmo assim, desce voando, e prepara uma vitamina reforçada. “Estudar despende muita energia”, comenta com a esposa. Volta ao quarto e oferece ao filho o que ele chama de “levanta defunto”: uma mistura de frutas, cereais, farinhas, leite e até fígado de bacalhau. Pasmem! Mas o filho recusa-se a tomar a tal “gororoba”, para a tristeza de seu empenhado pai.
Ah, os pais, às vésperas de um vestibular... Quantos cuidados, quantas esperanças, quantos sonhos depositados em seus filhos. Transferem suas ansiedades, perspectivas, vivências e, sobretudo, suas incertezas para os ombros deles. Pobres jovens! Não podem falhar, afinal aquele cursinho foi muito caro, dava para trocar o carro da casa, comprar vários eletrodomésticos, fazer uma viagem; enfim, realizar muitos desejos. Isso torna gigante a responsabilidade desses jovens. Mas qual!Há milhões nessas mesmas condições, é uma disputa titânica, pensam muitos. Mal sabem eles que a maior disputa, abrir caminhos e vencer a corrida pela vida, já ganharam.
Mas o senhor Pedro volta a insistir para que seu “empreendimento” experimente a milagrosa vitamina. O filho não entende que, mais que uma vitamina, estão ali misturados os sonhos e as esperanças do pai... Num gesto de solidariedade toma, com os olhos fechados aquela mistura meio esverdeada-é tanta coisa ali que não é possível precisar o sabor. Satisfeito, o pai desce para a sala de estar, acende um cachimbo e o degusta, com a alma leve. Seu menino está alimentado. E fortalecido.
Os dias correm, as noites voam e ... Pronto, chega o grande dia! O despertador toca às 5h da manhã, a mãe já está acordada, não dormira a noite toda. O pai sequer roncara, sintoma de um sono leve, preso e tenso. A avó telefona às 6h e diz que está a caminho trazendo o bolo de chocolate, o preferido do Paulinho. A casa se agita, o cachorro acorda, o papagaio balbucia seu primeiro “loro” e a mesa já está posta. “Vá acordar o Paulinho”, pede o senhor Pedro a Isaura, a mãe. Mas quando chega ao quarto ela se depara com o filho sentado na cama, olhos fundos e perdidos. Pesa-lhe o corpo. Precisa fazer duas tentativas para se levantar; é o peso da responsabilidade, da resposta às expectativas da família, do retorno aos investimentos do pai, do sacrifício da mãe; enfim, terá que se agigantar diante de si mesmo para suportar tamanho fardo.
O pai chega da feira, naquele ensolarado dia, em uma pacata cidade do interior, com uma braçada de frutas e legumes. Deposita-os sobre a mesa da cozinha e sobe os degraus-dois a dois- para o quarto de estudos do filho, para saber se ele quer alguma coisa. “Obrigado, papai”, responde o garoto imerso em seus livros. Mesmo assim, desce voando, e prepara uma vitamina reforçada. “Estudar despende muita energia”, comenta com a esposa. Volta ao quarto e oferece ao filho o que ele chama de “levanta defunto”: uma mistura de frutas, cereais, farinhas, leite e até fígado de bacalhau. Pasmem! Mas o filho recusa-se a tomar a tal “gororoba”, para a tristeza de seu empenhado pai.
Ah, os pais, às vésperas de um vestibular... Quantos cuidados, quantas esperanças, quantos sonhos depositados em seus filhos. Transferem suas ansiedades, perspectivas, vivências e, sobretudo, suas incertezas para os ombros deles. Pobres jovens! Não podem falhar, afinal aquele cursinho foi muito caro, dava para trocar o carro da casa, comprar vários eletrodomésticos, fazer uma viagem; enfim, realizar muitos desejos. Isso torna gigante a responsabilidade desses jovens. Mas qual!Há milhões nessas mesmas condições, é uma disputa titânica, pensam muitos. Mal sabem eles que a maior disputa, abrir caminhos e vencer a corrida pela vida, já ganharam.
Mas o senhor Pedro volta a insistir para que seu “empreendimento” experimente a milagrosa vitamina. O filho não entende que, mais que uma vitamina, estão ali misturados os sonhos e as esperanças do pai... Num gesto de solidariedade toma, com os olhos fechados aquela mistura meio esverdeada-é tanta coisa ali que não é possível precisar o sabor. Satisfeito, o pai desce para a sala de estar, acende um cachimbo e o degusta, com a alma leve. Seu menino está alimentado. E fortalecido.
Os dias correm, as noites voam e ... Pronto, chega o grande dia! O despertador toca às 5h da manhã, a mãe já está acordada, não dormira a noite toda. O pai sequer roncara, sintoma de um sono leve, preso e tenso. A avó telefona às 6h e diz que está a caminho trazendo o bolo de chocolate, o preferido do Paulinho. A casa se agita, o cachorro acorda, o papagaio balbucia seu primeiro “loro” e a mesa já está posta. “Vá acordar o Paulinho”, pede o senhor Pedro a Isaura, a mãe. Mas quando chega ao quarto ela se depara com o filho sentado na cama, olhos fundos e perdidos. Pesa-lhe o corpo. Precisa fazer duas tentativas para se levantar; é o peso da responsabilidade, da resposta às expectativas da família, do retorno aos investimentos do pai, do sacrifício da mãe; enfim, terá que se agigantar diante de si mesmo para suportar tamanho fardo.
BURDEN
The noise was hollow. No crackle was heard. The surface seemed to have been smoothed by something soft. A dog barked very far away like a wolf´s howl. Darkness, Satan´s ally, was the sovereign of the night. The stars and the moon connivantly disappeared. Even the wind interrupted its course to blow over another landscape. The trees seemed to blow a bit under the burden of silence.
Dawn came up, pace by pace, sluggishly, resurrecting life, throwing light and spreading rays everywhere, reaching all and each single splint. Soon the sun made the rest. Everything was light. Sounds of all sort were heard, and people coming and going were too much absorbed by their problems to be aware of any particular significance of a meow that came from a half-blinded black cat, near a half-opened well. It kept meowing all day long, and nobody came to see what was happening to that poor, undesirable animal. A crippled and scabby dog joined the cat, barking sadly while scratching itself in an attempt to expel the fleas away. That was the proper picture of sorrow. Anyone with the faintest sensibility would feel the deep sadness those skinny animals were moaning at.
Time was, though, inexorable and night reappeared, painted everything black, giving no chance to a single sparkle to penetrate anywhere. Lightning flashed the sky, and as quickly as a ray, the rain came. It was a heavy downpour. Like a bride´s veil it spread all over the village, melting the snow on the roofs and roads. And it kept thundering the whole night.
Then the sun came! Near the well, soaked to the bones, shaking like a leaf, watched two brave animals, waiting faithfully. Before their eyes there were a piece of sausage, a pair of filthy shoes, some skins of banana, a torn bag with some smashed biscuits in it and half a wooden cross. All those lay about, near the abandoned well almost covered by weeds.
When the men of the fire-brigade came to the place sounding their sirens loudly, people woke up their inertia, and one by one got interested in what the fireman were dragging out of the well. The curiosity arose much more vividly when two tied-bare-feet appeared at the mouth of the well.
The corpse was soon placed on the ground and the two animals surrounded it. The cat first, with its twinkling eyes, nimble movements and shrill voice. Its meow was now joyful and had a sound of loyalty. The dog, due to its defect, came slowly, but even so, it managed to caper on one leg with joy. They could not understand why the men of the fire brigade soon took their companion away. People soon started moving and things returned to their normal course.
Two days later, a strong-haired-man with thick beard, badly dressed and awkward expression, walked towards the well, sat on pieces of brick and looking vaguely at the sky, started rubbing and moving half a wooden cross round his finger.
Dawn came up, pace by pace, sluggishly, resurrecting life, throwing light and spreading rays everywhere, reaching all and each single splint. Soon the sun made the rest. Everything was light. Sounds of all sort were heard, and people coming and going were too much absorbed by their problems to be aware of any particular significance of a meow that came from a half-blinded black cat, near a half-opened well. It kept meowing all day long, and nobody came to see what was happening to that poor, undesirable animal. A crippled and scabby dog joined the cat, barking sadly while scratching itself in an attempt to expel the fleas away. That was the proper picture of sorrow. Anyone with the faintest sensibility would feel the deep sadness those skinny animals were moaning at.
Time was, though, inexorable and night reappeared, painted everything black, giving no chance to a single sparkle to penetrate anywhere. Lightning flashed the sky, and as quickly as a ray, the rain came. It was a heavy downpour. Like a bride´s veil it spread all over the village, melting the snow on the roofs and roads. And it kept thundering the whole night.
Then the sun came! Near the well, soaked to the bones, shaking like a leaf, watched two brave animals, waiting faithfully. Before their eyes there were a piece of sausage, a pair of filthy shoes, some skins of banana, a torn bag with some smashed biscuits in it and half a wooden cross. All those lay about, near the abandoned well almost covered by weeds.
When the men of the fire-brigade came to the place sounding their sirens loudly, people woke up their inertia, and one by one got interested in what the fireman were dragging out of the well. The curiosity arose much more vividly when two tied-bare-feet appeared at the mouth of the well.
The corpse was soon placed on the ground and the two animals surrounded it. The cat first, with its twinkling eyes, nimble movements and shrill voice. Its meow was now joyful and had a sound of loyalty. The dog, due to its defect, came slowly, but even so, it managed to caper on one leg with joy. They could not understand why the men of the fire brigade soon took their companion away. People soon started moving and things returned to their normal course.
Two days later, a strong-haired-man with thick beard, badly dressed and awkward expression, walked towards the well, sat on pieces of brick and looking vaguely at the sky, started rubbing and moving half a wooden cross round his finger.
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